One of my retirement hobbies is selling “stuff” on ebay. I have noticed as I have accumulated a bit of age is that I have also accumulated a bit of “stuff.’ Well, a lot of “stuff.” Some of it I sell at garage sales, some of it I donate, and some of it I sell on ebay.  While I have been an ebay buyer for many years, I have just recently started selling. It took me a while to learn how to effectively sell, get paid and ship on ebay. It seems like selling on ebay would be easy, but I discovered many pitfalls. Perhaps I will write a future article on the pros and cons of selling on ebay.

Lately, I have noticed more buyers winning my auctions on ebay and then never paying me. At first, I was sympathetic giving the buyer the benefit of the doubt and allowing more time to pay. After several disappointing attempts at trying to be understanding, I now turn deadbeat buyers into the ebay resolution center immediately after the 2-day waiting period. This aggressive action sounds kind of heartless but not getting paid is a hassle.  Most of the time, by the time I report the deadbeat buyer to ebay, I do not get paid and must relist my item. You might be thinking, Alan, I hope you didn’t retire depending on income from ebay. No, I don’t need income from ebay sales to put food on the table. It is just another hobby.

My question is, why would anyone bid on something and never pay. I thought of a few reasons why a person would pursue such an illogical and disruptive activity.

  1. They don’t know what they are doing.
  2. They are malicious and enjoy causing chaos for unknown sellers.
  3. Somehow, they lose their payment money immediately after winning an auction.
  4. They don’t have enough money but hope to raise the proper amount before the payment deadline.
  5. They get emotionally caught up in bidding and can’t stop.

I am not sure which of these is the primary reason; however, “tactical emotions” seem to play a roll in all of them. There is certainly no logic in winning an auction bid with no intention or ability to pay. Have you ever reacted to a situation emotionally without taking time to engage your brain fully? Most of the time this sort of emotional reaction leads to regret. While this response can lead to trouble in any setting, it seems to really cause problems at work.

Have you ever received an email at work that caused your emotions to flare? After reading the email, you might feel wronged and be filled with a strong desire to make it right as soon as possible. A hasty reply to an email can be a big mistake. This error is enhanced by selecting the dreaded “reply all.” Whenever you feel a well of emotion arising as a result of an email, or any form of communication, you should stop and wait a while before responding. Wait until the emotion has dampened and use your logic and intellect to form a much better response. I learned that the first one to respond to a controversial mail is usually not the winner. When constructing a reply, stay focused on the subject or objective of the communication. Learn to recognize when a different form of communication is required to resolve an issue. Most people don’t enjoy attending additional meetings, but some subjects require a face to face discussion. These suggestions for handling emotionally charged communications applies to personal emails too.

Remember, slow down, take a breath, make a thoughtful, positive and productive response.

Make the most of this day!