Since my retirement, I have been exercising on a regular basis. While there are many interesting human interactions that occur in a workout gym that I have been tempted to write about, today I encountered a situation that pushed me from temptation to action. While not nearly the oldest patron of this exercise facility, I am older than most. I consider myself an accomplished user of most of the machines in the building. I have seen some of the “older” patrons occasionally struggling to use a machine and have willingly offered assistance.

Today the tables turned. Nearing the end of my workout, I was trying to read a setting on one of the machines. This setting is in a location low to the ground and is difficult to see. As I was bending over trying to read the information, I heard a voice behind ask, “Sir, do you need help?” My initial reaction was, he must be talking to someone else, you know, one of those older people I have seen struggling in the past. After a few seconds, I realized, this fellow was talking to me. I raised up and cast my eyes on a nice young man who was genuinely trying to help me correctly adjust the machine. I told him I was having trouble reading the setting. He quickly bent down and relayed the pertinent information. He asked if I knew how to adjust the machine, I told him I could take it from here. While I was kind and genuinely grateful for his help, there was a feeling welling up inside of me exclaiming; I don’t need any help from this young whipper snapper. I am the one who always helps others. I am the person who “figures it out” and finds a solution.

After this encounter, I realized I am transitioning from someone who provides help to someone who “occasionally” needs help. Due to some character flaws, this awareness was a tough pill to swallow. I struggled the most with my pride, you know, the sometimes misguided concept that I can always take care of myself. This experience caused me to think that maybe, just maybe, it is okay to seek and to accept help from others occasionally.

This is not to suggest a desire to turn into a whiney, needy person who is always rummaging around for assistance. Perhaps a more thoughtful person who on rare occasions, asked for help in areas of physical limitation or specific expertise. Let’s list a few areas where it makes sense to ask for help.

  • Physical limitations

For example, I have been told by certain influential people in my life to stay off ladders. Given these clear and repetitive instructions, I now ask my son to clean out my gutters.

  • Lack of expertise

I can fix and repair many things, but I have clear limits. Before starting a task, I try to make sure it is within my capability. YouTube is an excellent resource for determining the required skill level for a given job. Knowing your limits is important. Remember, a task is at least 50% more difficult than you imagine.

  • On the job

It can be challenging to ask for help at work. After all, we want to appear to be a capable employee with plenty of future potential. While you don’t want to be the employee who is continually seeking help, there are times when seeking assistance is wise. After all, the task will eventually come due, and you will not be able to hide the fact that you didn’t understand or didn’t know how to accomplish the assignment. When I became a seasoned employee, I began getting requests for help from my neophyte coworkers. Recalling my own struggles at the beginning of my career, I usually never minded helping others. There were those employees who had explored most, if not all, avenues to resolve their question on their own. They only asked me because they exhausted other alternatives. Then there were employees who came to me for help without seeking answers on their own. Not only did these folks annoy me, but they also did themselves a disservice by not working to find the solution. When you think you need help at work, make sure you have explored all the resource available before pleading for answers. Constantly asking for help is not only bothersome, but it also makes the employee appear lazy. Based on my vast experience, the perception of laziness is not good for your career.

Now back to my current plight of receiving unrequested, and sometimes undesired help. When people see someone struggling and ask to help, their heart is in the right place. I believe there is a genuine desire to aid. Indeed, the fellow from the gym who asked to help me was sincere. I can’t imagine another motive he might have possessed. It clearly could not have been to “show me up.” If this was his intent, all he had to do was stand next to me. No, the issue here was my attitude. I need to dial down my pride a bit and realize that indeed I am getting a bit older and occasionally I do need help.

What are the key points to take away from this unusually personal musing? First, it is okay to ask for help? The answer is yes, just make sure you have done some work before requesting assistance. Second, it is also okay to receive and accept requests for help. Recognize that you are participating in the kind act of one person helping another. This type of kindness is an activity we could stand see more of in today’s world.

Make the most of this day!