It has been a year since my daughter passed away. This has been the most challenging year of my life. I have experienced the loss of close family before with the passing of my father and sister; these events pale in comparison with the loss of a child. While I am far from an expert on the grieving process, I thought I would share what I have learned so far.
- You cannot skip or shortcut the grieving process. The emotions must come out. For me, it is a matter of controlling the rate of emotional release so I can still function. This past year, I have experienced birthdays, holidays, and anniversaries. Each event stirred up a flurry of emotions. I have learned planning for these events is a good idea. For example, we had relatives visit us on my daughter’s birthday. One of our activities was painting a memory rock and placing it in the garden.
- Everyone processes grief differently. Some people find support in groups like Grief Share. Some people seek professional help. My method for processing grief is to write. For this past year, most of my writing energy has been dedicated to journaling my journey of dealing with grief. There must be an outlet for processing grief; it is essential to find one that works.
- Read books about grief. There is plenty of helpful material to help you understand and process the overwhelming emotions you will confront. I found a daily devotional book on grieving to be the most beneficial.
- Embrace music and photographs. My daughter and I shared a lot of songs. I have a playlist dedicated to my daughter. There are some fantastic songs like “Hold On to Memories” by Disturbed and “Scars in Heaven” by Casting Crowns. Some music is still too overwhelming for me to hear. I anticipate this will change over time. For photography, I collected every photo I could find and stored it online. I managed to pull all of my daughters’ pictures from her social media accounts. Wading through pictures is a great way to process memories and grief.
- Continuously ask yourself, what would my loved one want me to do? I have used this question many times when sorting out how to memorialize my daughter. This question also helps with the grieving process. For example, would my daughter want me to stop enjoying life because she is gone? The answer is no. This question can help center your thought process and enable appropriate responses.
- Create a bucket of memories. I have a collection of beautiful memories of time with my daughter. These are my memories; nobody can take them away. These memories are my connection with my daughter and how we shared life. I have found positive memories to be an invaluable asset for helping me put one foot in front of the other and get through some difficult days
Grieving the loss of a loved one is an all-consuming process dealt with daily. My father died 37 years ago, and I still think about him most days. There was a time when I was afraid I would forget my father. I know now, forgetting him will never happen. Old photographs come into play here for helping remember those to died long ago. Now that my daughter has been gone for a year, I have the same feeling of distance welling up inside me. I know I will never forget her; I think this feeling of separation is part of the grieving process. A better way to look at this is that I am further separated from my daughter, but one day close to seeing her again in heaven.
I know this blog entry is but a step in the grieving process. Perhaps it will help you; I know it has helped me to write it.
Make the most of this day!
August 12, 2021 at 3:30 pm
Thank you for sharing this Alan. I can only imagine how difficult this year has been for you. But you are strong minded man rooted in faith, and if anyone can get through something like this I know you can. Sounds like you have a balanced approach that is working well so far, or at least as well as it can.
Now that I am retired, my schedule is quite flexible. So reach out anytime you want to talk, meet for lunch, go fishing, etc. Let’s continue to stay in touch. Stay strong my friend.
August 17, 2021 at 9:59 am
Todd,
Thanks for your kind words and continued support. Now that you are an old retired guy like me, we need to get together. I will be in touch.
Alan
August 12, 2021 at 9:17 pm
Alan- great blog! Grieving is a process. I do not think you ever get over it. Just keep the memories in the forefront of the mind and time will heal the rest. Take care and god bless!
August 17, 2021 at 10:23 am
Ramona,
Thanks for sharing your kind thoughts, they are a blessing.
Alan
August 12, 2021 at 10:32 pm
You and your family have been in my thoughts and prayers this last year. Grief is all consuming. One day at a time for sure! Relish the memories and may you have peace until you are together again.
August 17, 2021 at 10:23 am
Theresa,
Thanks for the prayers. I appreciate your thoughts, they are spot on. I hope you and your family are doing well.
Alan
August 15, 2021 at 2:26 am
I’m very sorry to hear of your loss Alan. I cannot imagine your pain and hope that hearing from some of your friends and colleagues from the past brings some comfort in knowing that we share your grief and wish you the best.
August 17, 2021 at 10:22 am
Keith,
It is good to hear from you, I hope you and your family are doing well. Thanks for the kind words, it has been meaningful to hear from former colleagues.
Alan
August 17, 2021 at 2:13 am
I shared the same thoughts when thinking about my mum … I am sure she would love for me to remember her while still enjoying my life eventfully with my now family. My prayers and thoughts continue for U and yr family too. Hope to see u some day in Taiwan or Houston soon … 🙂
August 17, 2021 at 10:18 am
Lee Lim,
Thanks for your thoughtful comments. I miss my Taiwan friends. I never thought it would take so long for me to get back to Taiwan. Let me know if you have plans to visit Houston in the future. All the best to you and your family.
October 21, 2021 at 7:45 am
Alan, we worked together briefly at Compaq. I hope you remember. You were one of my favorite colleagues. I’m very saddened to hear about your daughter. Each time I hear about a tragedy, I wonder why bad things happen to good people. I’m still searching for a good answer. Peace be with you. Best regards, Tom Woo
October 21, 2021 at 8:38 am
Thomas,
Thanks for the kind words. I do remember you, I hope you and your family are doing well. Blessings, Alan